"him"

YOU FUCKING WHORE, what do you think you are doing? You are weak, incredibly weak, sliding along in your easy life, lamenting every bump along the way, never seeing the truth. You didn't listen when I promised you my love, you doubted and doubted and doubted, with NO PROVOCATION, until I began to doubt you. You're with that slut now too, that "friend" you always talked about. I could hear it in your voice, I knew I was losing you, yet you continued to doubt me. 3000 miles was too much for one of us. I believe it to be you. You cried that night I called you to tell you I couldn't do it anymore. So did I. And We both cried every night for so long. Until I caught you lying to your friends. Until I saw those words, your proclamation of how you had "crushed" me by "walking away unscathed"... it's been months, boy. You still cry, and beg me to talk to you. Well, I tried. And you said you wanted nothing to do with me. You were as cruel as you can be. And then you gave the same trite apology and begged me to "talk"... always the same...Play your games with someone who can't see through them. Go talk to your new girlfriend... she was worth losing me, wouldn't it be ironic if you couldn't even talk to her. I STILL hold your soul in the palm of my hand, you pathetic child. I am not weak, do not try to control me. I know you are smart, clever... I know you can control and manipulate even your closest friends, I know that is why you cannot trust. It is something you learned as a weak but clever young child. They found you as early as kindergarten, and began to beat and mock you, didn't they? Well, I am in the least your equal, I will not be fooled. I will not bend to your moods, 3000 miles and 4 months later. I fought back... I found my strength. I do not have money. I do not have fancy schools and parents who buy me cars for christmas. I do not get upset because people try to help me, because I know I need some help. BUT. I have everything you have and more, everything you are and more, because I am no longer afraid.

Unforgettable

Milky white skin she wishes was paler exposed as she lies on the floor. The bed just never seems right for this, all softness and comfort, it is her sanctuary, this is something so much more closely related to pain. Immaculately mosturized hands skim her body as she tries to imagine her fantasy boys, her vampires and renegades. She imagines their hands instead of her own. She imagines their faces, their voices. She imagines their lips... and remembers his. She returns to reality, forgets fantasy, pushes him away. He's gone. That is reality.

un-for-get-ta-ble : Earning a permanent place in the memory

"Oh, it's five o'clock and i cannot sleep
You were in new york and my heart is weak
I'm watching you on this photograph
I'm the biggest fool and i hear your laugh"

So it begins

My newest sanctuary... Is it safe?