giant gerbil terror

Aside from the mildly entertaining title (interestingly enough taken from a news article), tonight's entry isn't very funny to me.

I was away last night, and when I came back this morning I immediatly began feeding my pets. I threw the gerbil food into their tank, but didn't really linger because they could really give a damn about my existence. But them I heard squeaking. They fight alot, a sort of game to them usually, although they are mean to the littlest one. So, I tapped on the glass to break them up, and that's when I saw the little one: covered in blood. The other 3 had lynched her, ripped her right open. It was horrible.

I did get her to the vet, and for only $135 (actually not a bad price) I got her cleaned up (involved anesthesia), stitched up, and I've got antibiotics for her. Through this whole things she's been sweet and cuddly and playful, no less. She's got her own cage now, I'm not letting anything else happen to her. The other three are fine except for a couple of chunks of fur got ripped out.

On the other end of things, my best friend's Grandmother ( henceforth "Omi") owns the duplex my friend's family lives in, and the other side is opening up soon. She's going to let my 2 friends and me have it for $1000 +utilities. YAY! It's suypposed to be really nice inside, it's got a deck, a garage, and an attic. AND one of the places I applied has called me back for a second interview! Everything is coming together, except for my poor little gerbil... on the other hand, she doesn't hace to fight just to get food and water anymore.

So... just a kind of eventful day... there's more, but I don't want to sit still anymore. Possibly why the therapist says I'm ADD ;P.

Short story, written 2 years ago

Hm, ok, notes... little world I made up were vampires are a real and known thing, but they're treated as sortof second class citizens. This has murder, a crazy girl, police, narrative style, and musical references. I guess that's all.

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"The only thing you could hear was my heels.They were clicking on the pavement in this perfect 4/4 timing. It was the opening percussion.It was a song."

"It was a murder."

"When I got closer, it seemed that I could hear him shaking. A faint cello tremelo."

"You just pick some random drunk behind a bar?"

"When he saw me coming, he began to panic. His breathing became the stacatto violas."

"Why did you do it?"

"I kept walking. 1-2-3-4-1-2-3-4. I kept smiling. I said 'hello.' I asked how he was doing. A slight tease from the violins. The violas got faster, but the percussion never changed."

"They said you were always low-key,non-descript, quiet, sweet. What happened?"

"Someone opened a window, probably a kitchen window, or a backroom, and the sounds of the club poured out. Bass and second violins. A strong support, and an opening melody."

"Then one night, you pull out your fanciest clothes and take to the street. Your work calls your cell phone, and all you have to say is that you're sorry, you won't be working there anymore. You'd 'made a decision.'"

"The first violins came in when I grabbed him. He squeezed out this little 'no,' the low 'g,' the pickup."

"They called Control. Said you sounded like you'd snapped. They went to the club to get a description. Your boss was worried about his precious star singer."

"I kept trying to tell him not to worry. It hurts less that way, you know. That was the first violins, the violins that had only teased earlier. I took his upper arm in one hand and reached to loosen his collar with the other. That's when the lead violin started its solo, and the percussion followed it. He screamed; he tried to escape."

"While they were there, they heard a commotion in the alley out back. They heard it over everything inside, you crazy bitch! Over the music, the people, everything! Everyone could hear you two struggling. Shut'em up quick."

"Suddenly everything else but the bass dropped out. It was the distant murmering of the bass, the wild percussion, and the screaming violin."

"Control followed the noise."

"Percussion faded first. Soon the violin faded back to the cello tremelo. The main violins came in almost imperceptebly as I soothed him. even after the cellos stopped. It was the violin and soft, urgent bass. Then it stopped."

"They found you out back, knealing over his body talking to it. How crazy are you?... They bring you here, and bam! you confess. I guess this should be an easy enough trial. You didn't even try to struggle when they arrested you, did you?"

"It hurts less that way."

"Let's get you to a cell."

"...Where are my friends?"

What passes for sexy

I don't get what passes for "sexy," "beautiful," or "attractive." I'm 19, every day I'm bombarded with advertising and celebrities, always with the undertone of what is "beautiful." If I walk through the mall, there's American Eagle, Express, Abercrombie&Fitch, even HotTopic and Claire's. I am told what jeans to wear (although I admit that I do find AE jeans very comfortable and pretty good quality), how to dress up, how to wear my jewelry and my hair. I am embarrassed to say that due to a need of money I worked at one of those stores... The message doesn't stop at the advertising. I was expected to do certain things, dress certain ways, think certain thoughts. I was at one point expected to join in mocking a customer with cuts on her arms (it was evident that they were self-inflicted). I was mocked myself over my nail polish color. I had a friend who worked at A&F... It was her favorite store, her brand, she worshipped it and the catalogs, the bags, the posters, she even dated a british guy who had been asked to model for them...

My friend was a beautiful, athletic girl, convinced she was plain and fat. It was actually really annoying. She got that job after a couple weeks of panic and anxiety, driving everyone else nuts. She was worried that she didn't look good enough to get hired, or that they'd put her in the back room (we've heard stories about what happens to the less attractive employees), or that she just wasn't "abercrombie" enough. After she was hired, she found out about "the A&F lifestyle." W. T. F. Apparently, it's a sort of How-To book of sexiness as they see it. To work there, you needed to fit in to their ideal. No visible tattoos unless they fit this "lifestyle" (although they never clarified how a tattoo would or wouldn't fit... I'm thinking small tribals or butterflies or something), same with piercings, haircolors had to be a certain way, and you had to wear that seasons clothing, requiring employees to spend a couple hundred dollars every three to four months, while earning minimum wage. I guess you learn more about it on their website, A&F Lifestyle.













It freaks me out.


As I poke around the internet, I am constantly bombarded. (Examples taken from my email) Weight loss adds...

Nearly 300 Recipes from WEIGHT WATCHERS® Annual Recipes for Success!

Put the m-m-m-m-m back in your meal time with the all-new WEIGHT WATCHERS® Annual Recipes for .....

"romance"/dating site adds...

View photos of singles in your area Tonight

Hi,Want to see pictures of beautiful singles in your area that are looking for Love & Romance?I invite you to find your perfect ......

Glamour shots, clothes, bigger breasts, bigger penis (not really high on my list of worries, being female, but they send them anyway)..Always saying, "you could be perfect, happy, if..."

WELL MAYBE I AM HAPPY. Maybe a couple of crunches would do me a lot more good than a diet, and screw them and their insanely sized clothing. Maybe I like having a smaller chest than most girls consider ideal, maybe I've got huge hips and no butt, but I like it. Maybe I've got the biggest natural hair I've ever seen on a white girl, maybe I have a big rib-cage, and maybe one of my arms has a funny shape from when I hurt it 6 years ago. Oh Well.

This crap needs to end.


//EDIT// - Come one people, I know you're out there! I've had more visitors today than any other day this week, but no comments... blah.

just posting because I have nothing better to do

So... I'm bored. Yeah, that makes for substance in a post.

I was thinking... since I keep adding so much other random crap to my posts, I'd add some quotes from my favorite "inspirational" book: "The Little Book of Stress."

-THE REMOTE CONTROL STRATAGEM - Find out when your friends' favorite tv program is on. Then call them 7 minutes after it starts.
-THEY'RE JUST NOT TRYING - When traveling abroad remember foreigners can understand english if you talk loudly and slowly.
-USEFUL PHRASE - "Why did you do that?" (it drives me nuts when ppl ask me that)
-SINGLED OUT - Ask single women if they've got a boyfriend yet. ----Repeat on Valentine's Day.

Now for my pets again, because I love them. The first pics are ones I've already talked about, but then there are my other hamsters, my rescued sisters.


^^Fluffy the crazy cat!^^



^^Oliver! Why can't I get a good pic of this animal ;_; ^^








^^Can you tell they're sisters? They're both so sure they can chew their way out.^^


I found these girls in a little shithole masquerading as a petstore (we were only there because my friend had bought a dog there, and it needed some serious medical care, and the store was financially responsible because they're the ones who displayed and sold a sick dog, but they weren't paying the vet). They were already adult, and were being kept TOGETHER (big hamster no-no) in a tank barely big enough for 1 hamster. They both had open wounds from fighting and were malnourished, but when I spoke to the store OWNER he said "some ppl would say that they're playing." (about the fighting.) WHAT THE FUCK kind of answer is that. I was almost crying, because I had no money but it was killing me to even think about just leaving them there (I'm a big softy for animals), so my friends asked if he could hold them for us until the next day. He said we could just take them that night, if it bothered us so much. Now, that almost sounds nice, until you remember the part where if he sold them to us, he would have been responsible for any vet care they might need from his mistreatment of them, and he knew that we knew that. But I took care of them, and they're all better now.

PLEASE: if you ever find a petstore like that, report it!
http://www.aspca.org/
http://peta.com/ (if you must... they tend to be a little weird)
local government, any one you can.

ANIMAL ABUSE IS WRONG. And sick. They can't even defend themselves against it, it's not hard to treat an animal right, and yet people continue to act in these barbaric ways.

Now... on with the pictures.











AND.... GWENNIE!!


(side note - I did some math, my small pets and cats combined cost me probably over $8,000 a year. I'll be so happy when my friend has her own apartment nd can take care of them herself...)

Why Oliver is a miracle hamster

When I adopted her, Oliver had a severly broken foot. But now she's healthy as can be, and that's a pretty damn good turn around for a malnourished, old hamster. You can sort of see it in this pic: Her right hind foot is just dandy, but her left hind foot is swollen and purple. We think it was sone on a wire wheel. Always give hamsters plastic, solid wheels!




^^Look how fat she is!^^










^^Sure, my camera sucks, but this is a pic of her poor little foot.^^

















And yes. I named a female hamster Oliver.

photo-blog-daily life in snapshots

NOT ALONE


^me!^




^^My best friend!^^




^^my other best friend^^



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MY BABIES!


^^my Gwennie!^^




^^My Gwennie again! Yay! 2x's the Gwennie^^




^^Oliver the miracle hamster^^


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THE THREAT TO MY BABIES, MY OTHER BABIES



^^My Squeaky, my 'baby boy'^^




^^My brother's cat... she's crazy^^



there is another cat, but it would seem I don't have her picture availible... that's ok, she can't hunt anyway, so she doesn't exactly fit the catagory

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LIFE IN A TOURIST AREA


^^That about sums it up^^




^^possibly the most awesomely named motel ever, and it's right down the road... off season it's 45$ a night, not bad^^




^^just a nice pic I took down the road from my house^^



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ALL ABOVE PICS WERE TAKEN BY MYSELF OR THE BUSTY BLONDE FRIEND. PLEASE DON"T STEAL THEM. JUST ASK.

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AND NOW, FOR YOUR DAILY DOSE OF PRETTINESS:

^^Riku, my secret video-game lover. Yes, that's a dude.^^

What a day

When I came home this morning from spending the night at my friend's, I found one of my pet rats, Guinevere(Gwennie), just kind of moseying around... outside her cage. She found a way out. So I put her back and fixed the problem. I went about my day.

Most of that day consisted of rescueing my friends from one of their psycjotic mothers ("Laura, stop coughing!" *seconds later, muttering to her self* "don't yell at her, she's sick and she's got asthma, it's not her fault" *followed by* "Don't you throw up in there! It'll make a mess!")
The woman's lost her mind, I swear.

So I come home. And Gwennie was gone again. this time, she wasn't moseying either. About 10 minutes later, I figured out she was under the bed, with all my boxes of extra crap (I horde stuff). I can't even squeeze my arm under there, there was no pulling her out. And she was on to me, damn rats and their learning abilities. She didn't WANT to go back in the cage. Another 20 minutes later I managed to lure her out with the promise of hand feeding her her favorite food. Now she's mad bacause I put her in a cage she can't escape, and it's smaller than her normal cage. So now I have to spend the 100 or so dollars I don't have on a new cage, or let her run wild. I have 3 cats and would rather she live through this, so my life is about to suck even more as far as money goes. Blah.
I need that money for my car insurance and such, damn that rat.

On the upside, I pwned my brother at the awesome new soulcaliber 3. He's been playing for 2 days, it was my first time playing a video game in over a year, soulcaliber in 2 or 3 years. I rock.



And for our daily dose of prettiness:

Gerard (from previous posts) is down in the corner, wearing the awesome scarf.





That's all I pester you with today then.
And in the spirit of too much 90's-tv-reruns....
"Smooches!"

Deja vu

Four months ago I ended a six month relationship (possibly hinted at in my entry "him"? ;) ). Now, in the grand scheme of things, that whole 10 months isn't very long, the six nearly laughable. However... it was my first relationship. My first boyfriend. My first date. That creates a bit of an attatchment.

With that background information, I'll get to the point.

I made some mistakes during that relationship. I treated my friends poorly, especially my best friend. Now, I won't claim she's some beacon of perfection, she did a pretty similar thing to me just months before: you know what girls do, focus too much on the guy, forget their friends. I swear, we don't realize we're doing it. Tell us. Please.
But I went too far. When she was so upset she was sobbing too hard to walk, I went with him instead of her. He was even the cause of her upset. I know I should have gone with her, but the situation threw me so much (a situation a little too personal and complex to explain fully today) that I stayed with him. I hurt the best friendship I have ever had. I have that friendship back, but the damage done that night has yet to heal.

Now, I have another chance. Another boy expressing interest, asking me to go out with him. I am afraid of making mistakes again. She's afraid I'll hurt her, abandon her again. And I do not know what I'll do.

I don't think this will be a serious relationship. He needs someone to be there for him, and I need someone to be with outside my everyday social circles. I think he can understand me, and I know I can support him.

Advice always welcome.



And l>t-
You are so sweet saying you like my blog. Thank you. I'm just trying to write what I really think and feel, and maybe exercise my creative writing skills while I'm at it (ie - "unforgettable). I don't really know whether or not I have anything to actually say.
"I would advise ALL young people to Lust after whoever, but think practical about the ones you have long term relationships with. " - Amen. I fully agree. This is why I like talking to adults. (**stop** **think** Holy crap, I'm an adult!!)

People were talking....

People were talking about beautiful people, so I thought I'd share a picture of my idea of an attractive man. It came down to Gerard Way, Johnny Depp, or James Dean, and I found this pic first, so voila.

I don't claim to know what determines what we like. I've heard so many theories, archtypes to "we take every face we've ever seen and average them out to an ideal" to the media tells us. I just don't buy it most of the time. I know I've never gone for the really "masculine," stereotypical guys, I like pretty guys, often flat out feminine guys. I like all sorts of pretty things, I guess.

Automated new years resolution

In the year 2006 I resolve to: Slap stupid people in the head. Get your resolution here

Fitch Is Always Right

Fitch Is Always Right

Thank God for people who encourage thinking... Too many stupid peopel in this world, a little thought wouldn't hurt.

Inspired by...

four eyes are better than two

I rather enjoy this girl... she has a lot to say. Smart stuff. Encourage her.

Fast moving time:
Snowball fights
playing on the beach
Anytime with my violin
time with a good book

Slow moving time:
lying in bed wishing you were asleep
Red lights
mornings

Moments outside of time:
(moments that seem limitless, stretching on forever, because you're happy, and it's good.)
Driving/walking in the snow, alone or w/friends
under the stars, any time of year