back by popular demand...
So, pictures of my 2-day birthday to follow, as soon as they are developed. I seem to have misplaced my digital camera from it's snug spot in my purse, and I might know who helped it on it's way. But that's a different story.
So....
Where the hell have I been for the last week? (Or so)
It all starts last friday...
I was out with a friend, and he let slip that one of my best friends had told him something very personal and somewhat embarrassing about me. Obviously I was kinda upset by this, especially when you add on that she had, in the week+1/2 previous, lied to me, avoided me, and insulted me.
Now, 6 years of friendship, I'm willing to give her a chance to explain herself.
So I called her.
And called her.
Recieved an email from her saying she wasn't ignoring me, she just didn't want to talk to me until we could be "adult." (speaking to me like that is a BIG mistake)
And called her.
For 3 days.
Then I gave up for two days.
I missed one day of work because I was too upset to get out of bed (I know it sounds a little pathetic, but it makes sense to those who know me well). I missed another because the stress was apparently a little much on my body, and I got another u.t.i. I don't think this one made it to my kidney, but I still have to take antibiotics twice a day. That, of course, made me miss another day of work. My store manager was such an asshole when I called, that he made me cry. The next day was my birthday.
So, when I made that post, I was being ignored by one friend, sick, in some minor pain, I had been carded buying lighter fluid("I'm 20 today"-"You look much younger than 18" wtf?), and my other friend was out shopping with her baby's grandmothers. Not like someone died (that was my 15th+16th birthdays), but pretty crappy.
So I went to the beach. I wanted to set something on fire (hence the lighter fluid), but there were too many people around. No privacy.
She showed up on my birthday with a present and an apology. Part of the apology was a cd starting out "why should we break up/let's kiss and make up."
So I let her talk.
As it turns out, it was several misunderstandings, her saying a couple stupid things, and her complete lack of interpersonal skills combining. I'm still mad, but I'd rather just... not fight. I don't know that I quite trust her the same either, but we'll see how it goes.
This is what I get for befriending people as crazy as me. One with diagnosed borderline personality, and one afraid to go to a psychiatrist/psychologist because she had a bad experience with one 10+ years ago.
Yesterday was better though... We all went to the beach, and Katrina and I watched a movie. You'll see pics soon, as I said.
9 comments:
yep, ur popular!! {{cheesy grinne}}
y'know, somedayz it jast feels liek its time to throw in the towel. yea, ive missed work from feeling too miserable too.
the bosses who knew i had health issues *allergies* and or personal probs were quite generous with their attitude toward me, with perhaps 2 exceptions {{curl @ mouth corners}}
one time, i took a week off to work out my diet; that was 1 1/2 years ago. didnt pan out, of course and felt sheepish coming back to work with things "just the same as before"
then there were times i quarrelled with my parents *usually dad* and spent the night or two @ my pal's place. oh, and the daytime @ da mall. one time, a woman placed some coins on the floor near me, thinkin' i was homeless or somethin..{{makes funny face}}
doesnt seem to make it any easier though, that its happened before and dread e'en the thought of such a recurring incident.
i guess, with time ive DECIDED not to get myself into that framework of thought + angst again. at least not toward those i gotta live with.
liek, taking things from the mental point of view rather than emotional cause emotional is jast too difficult sometimes, y'know??
so....
i heard, someone wuz a lil worried bout ya but wuz glad when u filled him in, on stuff + that u can tell him anything?
and, yea we ALL got stuff thats embarrassing bout ourselves that only some poeple should know bout, tis part of life i guess.
once, i had a friend who wuz like 15+ years older than me. part o' the family by marriage, actually. we were real close till...well, we saw each other's true colors and evrythin' went downhill from there. now, we're liek mortal enemies. course, dats da worst-case-scenario forya!!!
{{deep breath}}
and yeah, ive quarrelled with my close pals 2, on occasion. BUT we always make up eventually..e'en become better friends az a result ;)
imsorryurbossmadeucry, mebbedalighter-fluidguywuzhittingonya + plstakeurantibioticsreligiously!!
{{tight hug}} dun make me ask u twice ;p
**looks at comment** ...are you trying to write me a book or something?! ;)
I'm probably going to get in trouble for missing so many days (I missed one 2 weeks ago too), but that won't matter much. I'm quitting whether I get the vet job or just go to target. I refuse to work at a job that is giving me nightmares. Plus, they've decided to be strict about dress code, and LIKE HELL am I taking my nose ring out for walmart. So, the job hunt begins again. (apparently, the coworkers who didn't know I was sick thought that's where I was on tuesday)
I haven't had an understanding boss yet, except my under the table job... but I never missed a day on that, I liked that job.
A week off... I wish. I only get that if I'm unemployed. Or I will be unemployed... My friend was tryong to get me to go to the doctor, and get a note saying I needed a week off for medical reasons, just so I could pull myself together, but I can't afford it.
Normally, I do approach things from a mental point of view, not so emotional. But somethings just get me. I was already not doing so well, it was sort of just the final straw.
:P well if someone ever signed into their email at the same time as me...
It's not even so much that he knows, because I probably would have made a joke about it sooner or later myself, but that she told him. I don't feel like I can tell her things again, unless she somehow regains that trust.
She's like a sister. I know the ugly side of her personality, I just love her anyway. She just makes me so mad sometimes, and usually it involves whatever guy she's with at the time. (normal behavior for many people, but it drives me nuts)
eh,fuckmybosshe'sanasshole, itwasalighterfluidgirlandIthinkshemeantit, andIjustfinishedmylastantibiotic.
So ha. you made me read it, it's your turn.
My favorite dysfuctional family. get over yourselves you two. L>T loves you. In a virtual blogging sort of way.
Honesty is the best policy...& all that crap.
nah...u WANT me 2? {{sly smile}}
(listenin to a song from Evanescence's Origin album)
nite-mares, huh? purr Starry...
methinks dress codes r a bunch o' hogwashe. once turned down a job teaching @ a fancy school cuz they wanted someone with short hair!!
*Hitler, Stalin & Milosevic didst sport the socially~preferred look*
{{evyl grin}}
me caught sighte of aunt's shiny nose-ring yesterday. too bad tis not a tradition there!
i trust, u will someday work fer someone with kind heart ;)
there iz alternative to a week off. sorta. an awesome time-table. if possible, slot sum *creative* time alone evryday or evry second day, tis great fer sanity.
currently spend a few minutes each morning sungazing, 20 - 30 mins in the evening meditating + read outside in the morning or evening for 1/2 hour with feet touching the grass..
i'll let someone know ;D
trust iz a strange thing. ne'er could trust my parents with many things since they took other people's word against mine when i wuz little; schoolteachers, for example.
course, with years of experience n' mental clarity one learns what to and not to expect from those we cannot completely believe in {{eyez narrow slightly}}
ya always seem sooooo calm + collected 'round me, tis difficult to imagine yer more, hysteria-ridden state?
{{{flashes her a smile}}}
ps. a book from Yours Truly(R) will cost 8.77 plus cursin' & debasin', to be paidinfull, onthedot, in Acheronian silver*
*not in use since the fall of Acheron(TM) therefore, Stygian crown iz accepted :]
l>t ~ {{hugz}} thisidiotwuvsya2, inavirtual-bloggin'sortaway lol
u've seemed to have faced a lot in just 2 days and well, u emerged victorious...(very adult-like).
hope to c da pix soon, once u find ur camera ofcourse
um, how come ur weather-pixie keeps changin' her outfit?? iz she set on automatic or something ;)
and, ur feelin' better from the u.t.i. rite {{bats eyez softely}} i forgot 2 aske!!!
God! I don't even remember saying that??? I don't even know why I said it??? I must of had a reason.
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