12.27.2006

"Christmas in Maine" - Bob Marley, comedien

Let's go to the Maine Mall and fight with the crowd.
Let's go to Mark's showplace and scream "take it off" really loud.
Let's freeze our ass off in the sub zero cold.
Let's paw through the clothes at macy's and make the ladies refold.
It's Christmas,
(it's Christmas in maine wop wop wop)
Christmas in maine, folks.
Get out your shoe clubs.
Buy your cord of wood.
Fill your oil tank.
Save your money.
Let's watch'em light the tree in Momument Square.
Let's hope your wife shaves her legs this month or at least uses nair.
Let's hope dad doesn't lose his last tooth biting into apple pie.
Let's meet a nice girl in Ogunquit and hope she's not a guy.
It's Christmas,
(it's Christmas in maine wop wop wop)
Christmas in maine, folks.
Boy, oh boy.
Can't wait to get that orange in my stocking.
Boy, what a thrill that is.
Save your money folks.
It costs 48 bucks to wrap a present nowadays.
What am I supposed to do?
Roll quarters all year long just so I can buy some Old Spice for my father?
Christmas in Maine, aw man.
I can't wait till Easter comes, Halloween,Thanksgiving, anything but Christmas.
It just tires me out so much.
Presents, everybodies singin'.
Aw, c'mon folks.
Let's watch the Portland Pirate's kick some ass.
Get really, really hammered and go to midnight mass.
Let's hope school is cancelled every single day because of snow.
Let's gag Jolly John so we don't have to hear another "hi ho!"
It's Christmas,
(it's Christmas in maine wop wop wop)Christmas in maine, folks.
So get out your shovels.
Get ready to be plowed in 8 times a day.
Let's take a dive to Northern Maine, past the college of Husson's
Let's drive on even further where the people fuck their cousins.
Let's buy a nice center piece from Dodge the florist.
Let's think about summer and those stupid fuckin' tourists.
It's Christmas,
(it's Christmas in maine wop wop wop)
Christmas in maine, folks.
I hope you salt your driveway.
You don't wanna take a spill and end up in Maine Med with a broken ass.
It's Christmas in Maine.
Don't put to many bulbs on your tree, folks... CMP will be over.
Let's go down to Portland's Old Port and drink a case of beer.
Let's thank God this season only comes but once a year.

38 comments:

Anonymous said...

Things 2 Do
- Fight w/crowd @ Maine Mall
- Freeze Ass Off
- drive-on-even-further-North

:)(:

concerned citizen said...

I happen to have a brother in Maine. He sends pictures once in a while, always in the winter & always with snow. I have a picture in my head that maine is always frozen over. :)

I'd go there for fresh lobster, though.

Anonymous said...

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I live in maine.
believe me.

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