Yeah...

that icon post I told you about? Blogger just decided I didn't need 3/4's of it, so it's gonna be a while... in the meantime... stories from my life! (ranking slightly more interesting than icons) Some of these are just fun to tell because I want to maim the people they're about, some are very personal, but all are connected. A little warning - there are some mentions of cutting in here, if that's a problem,

A little background information: I worked at a store at the local mall for 8 months, only a step down from assistant manager. I had keys to the store, I opened, closed, did bank runs. You get the idea. They loved me. Now, my personal life during this time wasn't so ideal, starting at suicidal just weeks before starting the job, and just continuously going up and down from there. About three months into the job is when I started cutting again (I'd stopped for 10 months), on a Wednesday night when (to justify this, the way my college schedule worked, my weekend was wed - fri) I had been drinking with some friends. I don't drink to the point of being drunk, but apparently I drank enough to feel that since no one wanted me around, cutting myself in the shower was the best idea. This only went for a week, but in that time I managed to go from a small cut above my ankle to cuts on my legs, hips, stomach, and arms. The final straw was when I couldn't find a razor (I'd thrown them away), so I got out a 4 inch, recently sharpened knife, and cut hard. I waited 3 days before telling my friend that I couldn't get it to stop bleeding (not bleeding heavily, but it still wouldn't close). That is when I really went into stopping cutting, and getting myself some help. But it would seem that I'm the kind of person who just swaps one bad habit for another, and I began shoplifting. The therapist I went to later said it was a different self-destructive behavior, I wanted to get caught, blah blah blah, but she wasn't as good as everyone thought she was. At least not for me. It was more likely two things - 1)I knew I wouldn't get caught if I followed certain guidelines, 2) it was an adrenaline rush (as is cutting, sometimes). You know those giant bags you get at the mall around Christmas time? In one night, when I was angry at my manager, I filled one of those and my purse. Ok, enough about my issues. One of the duties I had was to help out in the other stores in the mall that were owned by the same company.

So one day, I was helping out in the other store with their new girl. She was blabbing on and on, telling me things about how she runs the store when she's alone. Things she shouldn't be doing, etc. And she's skanky, but that's a personal issue. At the end of the night, I cleaned the store as she went through closing procedure, including counting the money from the day and bagging it to go to the bank. I watched her do it 'her way,' and knew why she was doing it that way. It looked like a very easy way to rig the count and steal a little from the drawer. Or an idiots way of doing it, either one. So the next day, I told her manager. I liked her manager, I didn't like her. I told her, "if the drawers are wrong tonight, it's because she counted them down like this..." and explained, I didn't go "SHE'S STEALING!"

Not long after, I left the job because my manager was driving me batty, and I didn't need her crazy shit anymore. About 2 weeks later, I was browsing in the store where the skanky girl worked. I had no money, and I was just killing time, but one of my debilitating headaches was coming on. So, I shoved two caffeinated sodas into my bag. Apparently, headaches are not good aides to thievery. She saw me. First mistake.

She made her first mistake when she stopped me before I was out of the door (policy, possibly law says I must leave the store to be stopped), and her second when she announced loudly, "I saw you put those sodas in your bag." (Can't make a scene). I made my second mistake by panicking. Right or wrong is not part of this story, so I'm just going to say, I still could have gotten away with it. But my mind shut down. She called security, she took me out back and told my friend who had NO IDEA what was going on to wait outside, and then proceeded to yell at my friend that she was lucky she wasn't getting in trouble too, skanky girl "knew" she was my "look-out!" Which was bullshit, her third mistake, she can be sued for saying things like that. So, she joined me in the back room, and I had already put the sodas on the table. At that point, there was nothing to do but co-operate and hope that got me bonus points. She looks at me and says "Do you have anything else?" The answer was yes, but I had recovered my brain by then and told her no. They don't search you if you're co-operating. She had already as good as told me she only knew about the sodas. This obviously all went along, I was unfortunate enough to get a security guard with a personal issue with me, etc. So, I get a lawyer, tell her all this,including that I think it was personal... I don't think she would have stopped me if I hadn't known she was stealing, and probably gotten her in trouble. By discrediting me, she saved her ass. Well, my lawyer managed to convince everyone of my side, ie - I never left the store, she had no idea what my intentions were, she was very unprofessional and the stop may have been illegal, and that the issue may have been personal, and that there was a medical reason involved (migraine). Skanky girl was in court that day, to watch... she was probably disappointed when nothing happened. If I don't get in trouble between now and august, I'm all set. No record or anything.

So today, I found out from a friend who still works at that store, what happened to skanky girl. She lost her job because she was stealing thousands and thousands of dollars from the store. My guess is from the registers. Suddenly, they all go, but what about Starry? Poor Starry.... as they realized what happened.