Where have I been?

Moping, bitching, throwing shoes and walking away from my friends, telling my father that he's being a jerk, avoiding people... let me tell you, that can keep a girl busy.

So, a few days ago, my father started the day with his usual hissy fit, following form and aiming at me. I'm lazy, inconsiderate, I never do anything, I'm making it up, I act like I don't care about my life, I need to choose a career or go back to school, etc. It started out with I need to do more around the house (I do more than he acknowledges) or it might be time for me to "move on." After he was done with me, he moved on to my brother, and eventually ended up screaming at my mother that she makes him do all the disciplining and doesn't support him. What happened next actually happens every 2 to 3 years, and although nothing ever comes of it, my friends know how much it bothers me: he informed my mother he was 'leaving.' In the 'not coming back' sense. Now, as my mother put it, 'who waters the lawn if they're actually leaving?' But that does not change that it is hurtful, and he made my mother cry. I'm still angry that he would do anything that made her cry.

I ended up calling my friend crying, and asking her to come to my house, because I was so upset I was shaking, and I still had to go to work.

He came back about 3 hours later, and the situation has obviously resolved itself, but I've just been in a mood ever since. I've yelled and snapped at people, I've avoided my father, when one of my friends got snappy at the other for no reason (they're idiots, both of them I swear... ok, I didn't mean that, it just always happens) I yelled 'jesus christ', threw my show and walked away (not the type of behavior I usually display in public), and the list goes on. On a side note, I wasn't wearing my shoe because I was getting sand off my feet, I didn't take it off just to throw it.

The worst part is how I'm eating... now, I've mentioned my eating habits on here before. I eat like a pig, and I binge sometimes. Not this week. I've eaten maybe a meals worth (a meal for me, anyway) of food a day since this all happened. Which I figured would resolve itself before it became a problem, it always does (sometimes I do this for 2 or 3 days when stressed). But today I was wicked dizzy, and that is probably a bad sign. And when I think about eating more, I get sick.

So I'm just all worried that I've lost my mind, in case anyone is wondering what this all amounts too.