What passes for sexy

I don't get what passes for "sexy," "beautiful," or "attractive." I'm 19, every day I'm bombarded with advertising and celebrities, always with the undertone of what is "beautiful." If I walk through the mall, there's American Eagle, Express, Abercrombie&Fitch, even HotTopic and Claire's. I am told what jeans to wear (although I admit that I do find AE jeans very comfortable and pretty good quality), how to dress up, how to wear my jewelry and my hair. I am embarrassed to say that due to a need of money I worked at one of those stores... The message doesn't stop at the advertising. I was expected to do certain things, dress certain ways, think certain thoughts. I was at one point expected to join in mocking a customer with cuts on her arms (it was evident that they were self-inflicted). I was mocked myself over my nail polish color. I had a friend who worked at A&F... It was her favorite store, her brand, she worshipped it and the catalogs, the bags, the posters, she even dated a british guy who had been asked to model for them...

My friend was a beautiful, athletic girl, convinced she was plain and fat. It was actually really annoying. She got that job after a couple weeks of panic and anxiety, driving everyone else nuts. She was worried that she didn't look good enough to get hired, or that they'd put her in the back room (we've heard stories about what happens to the less attractive employees), or that she just wasn't "abercrombie" enough. After she was hired, she found out about "the A&F lifestyle." W. T. F. Apparently, it's a sort of How-To book of sexiness as they see it. To work there, you needed to fit in to their ideal. No visible tattoos unless they fit this "lifestyle" (although they never clarified how a tattoo would or wouldn't fit... I'm thinking small tribals or butterflies or something), same with piercings, haircolors had to be a certain way, and you had to wear that seasons clothing, requiring employees to spend a couple hundred dollars every three to four months, while earning minimum wage. I guess you learn more about it on their website, A&F Lifestyle.

It freaks me out.

As I poke around the internet, I am constantly bombarded. (Examples taken from my email) Weight loss adds...

Nearly 300 Recipes from WEIGHT WATCHERS® Annual Recipes for Success!

Put the m-m-m-m-m back in your meal time with the all-new WEIGHT WATCHERS® Annual Recipes for .....

"romance"/dating site adds...

View photos of singles in your area Tonight

Hi,Want to see pictures of beautiful singles in your area that are looking for Love & Romance?I invite you to find your perfect ......

Glamour shots, clothes, bigger breasts, bigger penis (not really high on my list of worries, being female, but they send them anyway)..Always saying, "you could be perfect, happy, if..."

WELL MAYBE I AM HAPPY. Maybe a couple of crunches would do me a lot more good than a diet, and screw them and their insanely sized clothing. Maybe I like having a smaller chest than most girls consider ideal, maybe I've got huge hips and no butt, but I like it. Maybe I've got the biggest natural hair I've ever seen on a white girl, maybe I have a big rib-cage, and maybe one of my arms has a funny shape from when I hurt it 6 years ago. Oh Well.

This crap needs to end.

//EDIT// - Come one people, I know you're out there! I've had more visitors today than any other day this week, but no comments... blah.


Anonymous said...

Starry ~ long time no see ;)

Advertising works on several premises; insecurity, envy, greed & fear.

Maybe more things but thats a start. Point is, its often an extremely negative way of making you feel about yourself, just so you will feel like buying their product and into their ideas of what 'should be'.

Eg. if a man sees a handsome guy on tv dressed in an Armani suit, getting out of a Mercedez whipping out a stylish handphone with a sexy woman in background, his subconscious tells him that by acquiring the handphone, he will somehow get the rest of the stuff that go with it, namely looks, wealth & women.

So f##king pathetic.

I can't say that I have not been exposed and influenced by it myself. But after realizing what they're trying to do, I sure as hell make it a point to defy it!

Learn more bout yerself. Likes, interests, things that make you happy. Self awareness helps.

I will post on a similar vein @ my blog; V-day rants in Feb but mostly related to relationships and stuff.

btw, how you been? i think dark nailpolish looks great.

Anonymous said...

Starry ~ Take time fer hobbies/stuff ya really like to do, try to become good at them.

When time rolls by later on and you've acquired real skill in such things, there will be few regrets.

Nobody's perfect, not even Gerard Way..heh

I've heard the song Helena before and really like it ;)

Gerard sometimes caresses words with voice, very nice.

Looking for longer copies of the ones ya recommended..didn't take to most of em' on the first take..

I'm a fan of angsty themes/music myself, Nickelback's How You Remind Me ranks high on the list, somewhere under Papa Roach's She Loves Me Not and their awesome Last Resort!!

I think some of yer music may prove good for working out! ;)

L>T said...

Hi there. I'm in sunny California Venice Beach, today. (lots of beautiful bodies by the way)Advertising, i say is what the company's are trying to do, give them(us) what they want. But, nothing seems to be valuable unless it's hard to come by. I have spent time in the gym & tanning booths & low carbed for years. I just recently qiut all that. In two months I feel like a fat slob. My clothes are tight, my tan is gone(ironic, now that I am at the beach) I am struggling to learn to like me.
& that's my point. I want to like me

Melissa said...

You GO girl!!!! This post made my day... and I have had a real crappy few days so that says alot!